The Road

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Lonlies or Lonleys

Being tired has little bearing on whether or not I have to get my work done.

I need to remember why I am here.

I am here to get an education, to learn and grow, not to have someone coddle me and tell me how great I am.

I have to rewrite another assignment in my broadcasting class. And while I’m sick of rewriting stuff, there’s obviously something I’m missing which is why I need to re-write.

This is supposed to be easy… not brain surgery.

Maybe it is easy… but if I don’t read and follow easy directions… then whose fault is that?

Other thoughts going through my mind… I know I made the right decision to come here… but the walk of faith continues.

And affirmations don't hurt any!

I am a writer.
I am a broadcaster.
I am good at what I do.
I strive to do things in a more excellent way.

Yesterday, and this morning, I was wondering… as I am prone to do every now and again… about my marital status. I’m not young. I’m not old either. I’m not even middle aged. But with no prospects in sight, and re-entering a field where marriage doesn’t always bode well for the ambitious woman… how is anything going to change?

Is it going to change?
Honestly, I don’t know.

Do I want it to change?

I don’t know, but I do know that sometimes I just wish there was someone there with me as I washed the dishes or did the laundry or as I folded clothes… watching movies… fell asleep at night…

I am lonely.
But things are doubly difficult, because I am not desperate. That keeps alone longer, because I’m not willing to get rid of the lonleys by any means necessary.

Such is life.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Birthday Treat

I treated a new friend to a birthday movie. The evening was fun! It's so very nice to be able to just relax and let the twisted humor wiggle on out and just be... and to enjoy someone else's company and to have my company enjoyed in return.

As my sis would say "You can't beat that with a bat!"