Lonlies or Lonleys

Being tired has little bearing on whether or not I have to get my work done.

I need to remember why I am here.

I am here to get an education, to learn and grow, not to have someone coddle me and tell me how great I am.

I have to rewrite another assignment in my broadcasting class. And while I’m sick of rewriting stuff, there’s obviously something I’m missing which is why I need to re-write.

This is supposed to be easy… not brain surgery.

Maybe it is easy… but if I don’t read and follow easy directions… then whose fault is that?

Other thoughts going through my mind… I know I made the right decision to come here… but the walk of faith continues.

And affirmations don't hurt any!

I am a writer.
I am a broadcaster.
I am good at what I do.
I strive to do things in a more excellent way.

Yesterday, and this morning, I was wondering… as I am prone to do every now and again… about my marital status. I’m not young. I’m not old either. I’m not even middle aged. But with no prospects in sight, and re-entering a field where marriage doesn’t always bode well for the ambitious woman… how is anything going to change?

Is it going to change?
Honestly, I don’t know.

Do I want it to change?

I don’t know, but I do know that sometimes I just wish there was someone there with me as I washed the dishes or did the laundry or as I folded clothes… watching movies… fell asleep at night…

I am lonely.
But things are doubly difficult, because I am not desperate. That keeps alone longer, because I’m not willing to get rid of the lonleys by any means necessary.

Such is life.

Birthday Treat

I treated a new friend to a birthday movie. The evening was fun! It's so very nice to be able to just relax and let the twisted humor wiggle on out and just be... and to enjoy someone else's company and to have my company enjoyed in return.

As my sis would say "You can't beat that with a bat!"

Jimmy Carter

It's a blurry photo, but I can say I was in the same room with former President Jimmy Carter, who was elected when I was a wee lass.

Courageous Women

One of the International Women's Media Foundation honorees, Lydia Cacho from Mexico.

click here for Lydia Cacho's Biography

A while

It's been some time since my last post. I am so unbelievably busy, it's not funny. Even resting is busy, because it's just prepping me for some other work I need to do, some other paper, some other reading, some other story, some other event, some other something.

Each weekend I would check out a recorder or a camera from school, determined to take photos or record some event I was attending.

This weekend, I had to tell myself NO! I need to focus on the academic side of my education. I need to write the papers, do the research, finish the projects. And they're getting done, they're coming along.

I have more photos to post, but of course I forgot them.

Wow...

A couple of days ago, I was at the physical therapy pool at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, slightly clumsy as usual with a purse, camera bag and recording equipment. I was shadowed by a nice gentleman from the public affairs department. I had to observe, record sound and take pictures of injured vets... some who have lost eyes, lost feeling in a leg, one who lost his right leg in 2003, and recently had his left foot amputated... vets who are being taught to kayak as part of their physical therapy. That was the most interesting thing! It was just nice to sit down and talk to the vets and volunteers and ask questions.

I'm wondering if there is truth to the idea I heard from Prof. Morrison of our Boot Camp days... that journalism is the most fun you can have with your clothes on...

Interesting story

Photo by LumpyLizard

Another interesting day on Capitol Hill... not like i go there every day... but when i walked into the room for a conference, 45 minutes early, I figured it had to be at least a half of big deal. Truth be told, I knew it was a big deal. The featured guest was Garry Kasparov, former world chess champion who is bidding to be the next Russian president, a man who opposes current president (and maybe future premier) Vladmir Putin.

What in the WORLD?
What in the WORLD?

I figured this would be just another Capitol Hill hearing... so I strode into the room with a holy boldness, me and my over-sized backpack, purse, and camera... the recording device making the backpack look like it was pregnant.

The panel was long, but very intersting...

And it touched on an issue that I've chosen to call "Bootleg Democracy."
There was bootleg liquor during prohibition... there are bootleg DVDs. Of course, there are the bootleg handbags, like the Konna Darans and Fucci (Fake Gucci)... is there a such thing as Fhat Pharm? Or maybe fake Phat Farm would be Skinny Pharm... Grown-arse Phat instead of Baby Phat? Who knows... But just as there are bootleg versions of consumer products... there's Bootleg Democracy... countries that have all the trappings of democracy like elections and presidents... But their concepts of a free press are a farce. Can a country be a true democracy when the government's watchdog--the press-- is intimidated and in some cases, murdered?

More on this later.

back at it

I was back at it again...
At the crick-crack of dawn...
At the bootie-crack of dawn...
I would say it the other way, but I wish not to offend...
But it was at that crack of dawn also...

Today, I'm just catching up on e-mails, MySpace mail and stuff like that.

This is the life!

I'm off to read before class!

AJJ, and K-C on Sabbath afternoon. It's so nice to have a day to just chill, 'cause the rest of the week is a beast!


W.E., K-C, and AJJ. The photo is too bright, but hey, I was experimenting!

Tired

Dang, i'm tired. I work too slowly, and I need to pick up my pace.
It's interesting when people tell you things you already know.

My bad habit (it's a bad habit depending on the piece) is over thinking things...
And maybe all the sound i record doesn't have to be transcribed. spending too much time on stuff that should be a sprint... I tend to turn the quick projects into marathons.

Someone told me I think too much. While I don't believe that's a vice... in certain instances, I just need to get to it.

Watch me grow.

up before the birdies

don't know what i was thinking, getting up before the chickens to head out and do some work? what is that? aren't folks supposed to rise with the sun? shoot, i beat the sun out this morning to traipse my way to complete an assignment.

more work to do, more work to do!

The end of the week. What can I say? Yesterday was my birthday. I won't share how many years I have. Let's just say I'm 30 once more! It was a busy day, a tiring day, but I enjoyed it.

Spent part of the day at the PG county School board trying to get a story together for my internship... . and that's another story. I'm enjoying myself, but man! I have to remember that I am in school, and cannot afford to, like, fail anything, 'ya know?

So I'll just have to tweak my schedule to make sure this educational experience is actually educational! hehehehe!

hot diggety!

I got my work done! See, I thought I'd just get nothing done. I almost wanted to crawl up in a ball and just not do anything... but that's not an option. Not at all. So I determined in my mind I would rest a little, do work, rest for about two hours... get up just after midnight and them work some more...

Finally went to bed after 2 this morning... and my alarm started singing at 6-something. I shut it up a few times before finally being an obedient riser...

And so far the day was nice.

I got my work done.
And before that, I even got to bail someone out of a jam. One of the interns at W---, where I intern left her compact flash at the station. I had a CF recorder, so after the event we both had to report (hers was for another internship, mine for class), we hopped the metro back to the station where she found her card and copied the audio from my CF to her computer then to her card. Yay, I did a good deed for today! *smile*

Bummy times

Yup, yesterday was bummy. But I went to the library and saw a message from my pastor from L.A. I responded to his e-mail and ended up ranting about the day I had...

It was nice to release all that mess instead of carrying it around.

Thing is, I told a friend about the same thing. I still had more of a load to drop.

That's what pastors and friends are for.

Remembering

Of course, i must remember that this road is full of bumps and valleys, but also hills and good times. I'm bumping along, kinds. In the grand scheme of things, i'm just beset by a few annoyances. Nothing too serious. But they get on my blommin' nerves nonetheless.

I hate it when I have a plan that doesn't come together. Remember Hannibal from "The A-Team?" He always loved it when his plans worked out.

ME TOO.

And when they don't, flustration (yes, I blended to words... fluster and frustration) is the result... I won't say result, because flustration is temporary... just like trouble.

I've got lots of work to do, and not enough time to do the work, I've got sleep to get and not enough hours for both sleep and work... So we'll have to compromise. They'll have to share!

doubts

don't you just hate those moments when you are in total doubt of yourself and your abilities. lemee speak for myself. i can't say the doubt is total... maybe it's not really doubt, but just being bummed after a not so great day. but thing is, i can learn lessons from today...

but i can't help but wonder...

with my natural disposition...

am i too soft for the news business?