Mood: I don’t quite know… good, but… tired, but thankful, but…
Audio: something on this classic movie channel

It’s been awhile since I’ve written any journal entry in any of the journal-blogs I have.

Yesterday I got up early in the morning, after fitful sleep. I showered, dressed in my “journalist” suit, black slacks and matching blazer that fits a lot of occasions depending on what shell I wear… yesterday, I wasn’t very chic… I wore a red thermal shirt and a black button-down with slim turquoise, white and green stripes and ¾ length sleeves. It suited my purpose.

I started the 4 hour drive to Blacksburg, Va. a little before six a.m. I knew it would be a long haul. I didn’t know if I was up to it, but I felt it was something I had to do.

Didn’t run into very much traffic, because all the normal people were still asleep, or at least they hadn’t left their homes yet.

Drove the beltway, to I-66 and watched the sun rise in Virginia.

That is a beautiful state… But there is something that is haunting about that state to me… As an African-American, Virginia wasn’t always the best place for my people to reside. I don’t know about today, but knowing the history of Virginia… It’s yet another one of those places where I wonder “how many of my innocent people swung from these trees?” Makes me wonder why I am in Maryland, another state with ugly slave roots. Annapolis not too far away… Annapolis, a port where plenty of my people unwillingly made their debut on these shores…

But I digress, this entry isn’t about slavery. It’s about honoring those who were massacred last year at Virginia Tech.

I arrived on campus right before the ceremony started. It was a clear sunny day… the beauty in contrast to the ugly reality behind the reason thousands gathered on Drillfield.


I got my media credential, parked my car in the designated lot and walked to Drillfield. It was a nice stroll. It was the strangest thing… a university campus that seemed like a ghost town. There was no school yesterday, no classes held.

When I got to Drillfield, there was a noticeable contrast between the field’s green grass and the burgundy shirts, many which had affirming slogans on the back such as
“We are Virginia Tech.”


For all the thousands gathered on that field, I have never, ever heard so much silence from so many people. I could hear the birds tweet, I noticed no side conversations… There was only one lady I saw who was talking on her cell phone as she walked away from the main crowd… And she seemed out of place.



Sitting or standing, in groups or alone, there was quiet while the names of the dead were read…


The only exception was the panting of a nearby pet that some brought with them… or sobs from a young lady I assumed lost a friend.

As a reporter, I almost felt like a thief… Like I was stealing their sorrow to peddle to the world.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to disturb their grief, didn’t want to intrude… But as a reporter, I know I had a job to do… to capture the mourner’s sorrow in words, in pictures, in video, in reports to share with the world, so that others can empathize, sympathize, any kind of positive –ize where growth can occur as a result of experiencing the sorrow of the bereaved, even if those viewing the reports are on the other side of the world. That’s my job, that’s what I do. No one can prevent sorrow, but in the case of Virginia Tech, sharing reports of that sorrow can act as an impetus to prevent something like this from happening again.



I just wish it never happened in the first place.

And as the crowd dispersed, I can’t describe the environment in words except…
Surreally solemn.

One thing I didn’t notice: aggressive reporters.

After the ceremony, my classmate and I went to the media center to do a quick write-up of the story, edit audio. I chose photos and put together a slideshow.

I think it worked out and captured the emotion of the day.

Yesterday started early and ended late.
My classmate’s sister was kind enough to let me crash at her place for an hour before the drive home. I was so tired!
I got home around 10-ish… and flopped on the couch!
The drive home wasn’t bad. Delilah kept me company on the radio, she and some Virginia country stations.

The hills were beautiful against the sunset. Along with silos, red barns and grazing cows.

It seemed so peaceful… the antithesis of Tech, one year ago.

When will people quit trying to vault themselves above others?

I saw what I think is the most ignorant story ever on News Channel 8. I don't blame them for covering the story, though. People need to know about the foolishness people are trying to use in an official capacity.

The story was about some study done by the Fairfax County, Va. Public Schools. This study concluded that Asians and Whites score better in their life skills and morality than blacks, hispanics and those in special education.

What in the world?

The same lady said she is glad the school district isn't running from data also said it wasn't a research study. If it isn't a research study, why are they even discussing this drivel in a school board meeting?

What does race have to do with someone's life skills and morality?
Life skills are based on nurture along with morality.

A study that concludes that someone's blackness or hispanic-ness has anything to do with their life skills and morality is tantamount to the stupidity of physiognomy which was popular during Victorian times.

It never stops. From over-rated test scores to ratings on morality and character based on race? How about based on racism? Who determines which life skills are valuable?

Why do we live in a country where these studies continually grind a spiked, steel-toe boot in the faces of "minorities." I am sick of it. These damn reports are proof that King's dream is far away. It seems some people are unconsciously looking for a reason to treat certain groups of people worse... and now, if the ideas of this study are mainstreamed, closet racists will have an excuse to treat people of color poorly... and they'll say it's based on the content of character.

Car troubles

I planned to go to school to digitize some video for a project I'm working on. I am up and at-em and go to start my car, and it wouldn't cooperate.

Long story short, It got towed to a dealer and I'm out 200 bucks. And the dealer-man told me that the repairs/maintenance my car needs in the near future will cost me about 1700 dollars. That's not just one repair, it's adding up all the repairs and stuff I need.

Of course, I didn't want to hear that.

Blah.

But I got towed with no dime out my pocket.

Murphy's Law and being Grateful

They call it Murphy's law. Well, I don't know who Murphy was, but he sure was all up in my Kool-aid today. Broke through my day like the Kool-Aid pitcher-man! HEY KOOLAID!


So I got up early today to write a one page reaction to the Pew Report on the State of the Media. I was reading the executive summary last night, and fell asleep while reading. It was interesting, I was just tired.

So I got up late, and i didn't want to be tardy to class, because I had the news editor position for the Observer. So I cut corners getting ready today, and was off and at-em.

Got started on Observer stuff, and then I went downstairs to get a bagel with some strawberry cream cheese, and a bottle of cranberry juice.

bad move.

shortly after I ate, my stomach started turning. it took me awhle before officially admitting I felt sick, 'cause i ain't no punk. But once I realize i'm sick....

I'm a punk.

I gathered my stuff and went to the student health center. Made an appointment and called my mother. that helped, talking to her about some of my concerns.

After my nurse appointment, I went to my car. I decided to hang there until my evening class, because i was feeling better. I turned on the radio and read and slept. I even made a trip back across the street to campus because I had to pee something awful.

Then I got the good idea... to drive over to the parking lot closest to class. faculty and staff are only allowed to park there during the day, but it's open to anyone after 5. I turned the key in the ignition. the engine sounded like it wanted to turn, but there was this rapid clicking noise. I tried that a few times.

Called AAA. found out they have no record of me at my current or parent's address.
I need to find my account number.

Called the insurance company, and they sent someone.

This gentleman gave me advice, told and showed me what was going on with my car, told me that the corrosion around my battery could be removed with soda and a toothbrush.

He looked at my oil.
It was low.
He towed me to a gas station, came in with me as i bought oil. He told me I needed three... I was like "three?" He told me it was good to have extra. So now i have extra oil.

Not only did he put oil in my car, he went beyond the call of duty. He told me that I could be ticketed for driving around with two sets of license plates... Not good news since I was pulled over two weeks ago. I told him about my rusted screws and what I could do to loosen them. He worked with my screw driver, loosened the rusty screws, and changed my license plates for me!!!!

all i can say is that i am thankful. It was a weird answer to prayer. My car not starting got me needed oil and my plates changed. A seemingly small thing, but I am grateful.